The Runner

Wow...not doing so well on posting here lately. It's been a month since my last entry.

I've been struggling with the same pain now for months. It's good some days, worse other days and well, downright unbearable at times. I know ultimately I may need a doctor and I know I've been talking about it but finding the time to devote to accomplishing that has been well, darn near impossible. So horrible, I'm usually really proactive about seeking help when I feel I need to but since this isn't life-threatening, I've been prone to seek out other suggestions so far.

So I decided to pop into The Runner in OKC. I was very pleased! They told me I had a good shoe (I half expected them to try to sell me a new pair). They disspelled my doubts about my choice.  They took a look at my feet and my walk and then encouraged me to try some SUPERFEET first. They also assured me if in a few weeks this did not do the trick, to return the SUPERFEET and we'll go back to square one! I was THRILLED and RELIEVED.

They also had some running gear 40% off and 2 tubs of stuff marked at $10 each...most stuff not on sale runs about $50 a pop for dri-fit shirt, etc. I wanted to stay longer and 'shop' but I had the munchkins and well, it was time to go! But I'm dreaming of going back and DIGGING!

Lately, I've been down to running just 2 times a week. After bantering with TM and AN over what race we'll be tackling and which one. We've settled on a 5k because we are all on different pages with our training right now. It's going to be just a fun run that requires little effort and will just get ourselves out and about. I'm really looking forward to it!

When I run that race, I will be just one day shy of having been 'running' or a 'runner' for 6 months. Recntly, I've looked back over those months and seen how far I've come. I'm not quite where I want to be, who ever is? I still have a few battles like finding the time (as our schedules swap into warp speed for Spring time events i.e. T-ball, etc) and well, feeling like I'm getting anywhere. I've decided my next training stint will be for a 10k. It's just far enough out of my comfort zone to really get me pumped. It's true I have to have a star to shoot for. I think that's part of the reason February and March have been so difficult...while a 5k is something, it doesn't feel like enough...I'm always too hard on myself. But it keeps me motivated.

What I need to realize is that this is the time to fine tune...the pain, must go away, the freedom to run uninhibited by it must subside and I must continue to be patient with myself or I'll burn out.  However, I feel that I do have what it takes to keep going on this path. There is nothing in the world like finishing a 30 minute run (or jog as I am still rather low and slow) and feeling free. I know it's the Runner's High and RS keeps teasing me about it...but I can't deny the fringe benefits to having fallen in love with this activity. It clears my mind, it sets my mood on positive things, it raises my spirit and it allows me to feel that I've accomplished something solely on my own.

I truly feel that moment that Eric Liddell speaks of in Chariots of Fire:

"I believe that God made me for a purpose...but he also made me fast. And when I run, I feel HIS pleasure!"


Granted I'm not fast and probably never will be, but for me...that isn't what it's about...God made me for a purpose and when I run I do feel HIS pleasure.

It's something I never dreamed I'd love, it's really something I never saw myself doing...and I still battle the idea that I look like a complete idiot when I do it...but none of that matters. I am released from that feeling when I do feel His pleasure as I jog along and that is something I cannot replicate in other activities, so I'm sticking with it.

Oh and I had my personal best this week, a mile in 11:48...never hit below 12 ever...and well, I was proud. I have no idea if that's good for my age or not...but it made me happy. :)

Happy Running!