Confession

I'm feeling pretty down and out...yes, DOWN and OUT. I blame it on my expectations being too high, my stubborn competitive spirit, and well, being out of shape because I should have kept a workout routine through the 6 months I was off. But for me, it was all or nothing when it should have been all or a little something.

See, prior to all of this mess, I had no expectations of myself and so when I reached a mile...it was a miracle. Two miles was beyond miraculous...and well, when I got to 4, I was ecstatic...now I'm ever comparing myself and always thinking I failed because I didn't do 'that much' in my mind.

But I'm going to have to stop this line of thinking because it's stealing my CHI...it's messing with my ZEN and it's probably driving everyone around me crazy because I'm in a Runner's Funk. It's HORRIBLE!

And now I'm going to be completely transparent...I'm also horribly discouraged because I gained back all the weight and a little more after I quit running. That's right...size 6, not fittin'! And that has put me in a foul mood beyond anything else. But again, I have to keep telling myself, it took me 6 months to get to 4 miles, at least 3 to 4 months to drop to the size I wanted to be or where I felt free and I am currently in week 2. Week 2. Week 2 I keep telling myself.

Still doing all right with the orthotics...I have some tenderness like old times but the doc said that's normal as the bones adjust and then he was honest, shin splints may be something I battle, just back off a bit and give myself some time. Gee, I wish it were that simple!

Regardless, I'm doing RFTC...whether I walk, jog, wog or the whole gammit, I'm doing it, it's been a year in the making and despite the setbacks...I ain't no wimp!

Happy Running!