I'm a Girl, so what?

So I didn't run last week, I hopped off on Wednesday and got on the ellip. Depressing....and then I skipped out. Because I kept hearing John Bingham in my head: Sometimes to be a good runner, you have to choose not to run.

I was hurting...and so I didn't run the rest of the week or over the weekend. I missed it and really could have used the release.

However, I ran tonight...and I kept thinking...what is it? What is it that I want, distance or speed? Distance or speed? I decided distance. So I have a little rule for myself (that may be broken at anytime with my persmission). I'm not going over 4.5. Nope. Not gonna do it.

I really enjoy over 4.5 and even a little bit of the beginning of 5 miles an hour...but...but...I think I'm hurting myself, yes, I'm admitting I can't just start out of the gate...without a base.

Sounds slow, yeah, it is. It's slow, so what? But I've realized...I think I go too fast. I don't have a base...I'm starting to wonder if I'm built right...physiologically speaking. I may see a doctor. And this is why...the shin splints...my arch enemy (no pun intended) have got to be happening. What is the magic key that unlocks this for me?

Tonight I ran in another pair of shoes. Man, I'm trying to pull out all of the stops and avoid the Doc...but maybe I need to just nip it in the bud and be sure. I'm a nipper, I nip things in the bud. So I may be nipping.

My shins hurt now but is it from before because of after? I don't know.

I think maybe I just need an educated opinion.

Switching gears here...

I am starting to see the true value of cross training. I finally finished "No Need for Speed" and the last bit he discussed the cross training aspect. At first, I felt, I'm a purist, I only want to run, don't make me not run so I can run...but now I get it. I did do the ellip a bit last night and I let myself walk some.

I know I look like a dork on that ellip b/c I don't hold on to anything...working on my balance...I think that's part of my problem with my horrible ankles. As a rider, I did lots of balance exercises. Sitting on the horse, eyes closed, no saddle, no reins, hands out...what have you, feeling the horse moving, gripping with the legs...but it's a different kind of balance you need when you run and so I haven't mastered how I'm going to train myself but I'll figure it out. Balance exercise suggestions WELCOME!

Another tweak to my workout I've decided upon. I'm just going to do a 5k each night I go. But I'm not going to run it (at least not the whole time), I'm gonna walk it, ellip it, and bike it too, if I have to. But I'm going to slowly get my body used to that exertion, the endurance aspect...and hopefully by race time...I can run this fun run/walk I'm doing.

Bingham suggests you do a fun walk/run the first time out for your first race. I'm glad I read that b/c it fueled my drive to go ahead and let myself do that first. There's so much about the unknown that gets my inner anxious person worked up and then starts to tell my inner indecisive person to just not do it.

I'm also thinking I'm going down to DFW to the Race for the Cure thing down there in May...with my Mom and her friend.

It's good to have races to look forward too even though it's about the distance and not the speed for me...I cannot wait to feel that collective experience I've heard so much about.

Now lastly...I have to pose the question...does anyone else feel some kind of rush about 20 minutes into their run? I suppose it could be endorphins...but for some reason I feel very sentimental and start to really feel emotional, like I want to cry out! What a shock that would be to the others around me? I don't know if it's like a Rocky Movie moment...or if I just  need to go outside and start running so I can scream all alone somewhere...but I do. I feel empowered and deeply sentimental. Last night as I neared the 20 minute mark, I suddenly felt this deep feeling inside...I can't explain it totally. But it was joy and pain all rolled into one...like I was releasing something I need to let go of and it felt good.

Honestly, I was thinking of my horse and the joy he provided me while here. I  know that sounds silly but I think about riding a lot when I run even though I haven't ridden in years and years. I can't explain it. But do you have a story or a thought or something that comes to you when you run? Does it follow a theme or do you think about mundane things like your grocery list?

Sometimes it's my horse, a lot of the time it's God and me, talking and I think how much I love Him. What is it about running that does this to you?

I'm sure there's some physical, scientific explanation...or could it be simply, I'm a Girl?